Emma's Journey to Baby

Cry me a River…

Pregnancy week: 34.
Weight: Do not wish to know.
Ice-cream consumed: Not enough.
Chance of Eyeball precipitation: 99% plus 1.

Cry me a river... or a glass of alcohol free wine.  That would taste better!

Actually have you tried it? Some of it is actually quite good. Morrisons do a nice Red. Eisenger is the make. But you only spend the whole evening explaining to friends that it’s fake, asking them to try it - like you’d do that if it was real?! Haha step away from my Vino. And then hiding it in case someone thinks it is real and drinks your only chance of sipping something party-worthy. Appletiser is good but there’s only so much you can sup without feeling like you might turn into an apple. 

Actually talking of apples, my good friend did treat me to some alcohol free Kopperberg, Summer fruits flavour which was lovely. I would recommend. 

So you’ve all heard the age old tale that women and their hormones mean that when pregnant they cry a lot! They don’t even know why they are crying half the time... or maybe they do but not necessarily when the tears start to fall, as at this point they are still trying to figure it out. "I don’t know why I’m crying but maybe it’s, oh yes it is that, I just feel a bit useless".

I mean how ridiculous. We are growing a human. A ‘human bean’ (to refer to Roahl Dahl), yet we still manage to tell ourselves that whilst doing that wondrous feat, that we are no good to man or beast.

I mean is the world really going to end if I can’t reach the bottom of the bath to wipe it clean?

Does the fact that my knickers resemble something you might find in Rab-C Nesbitt’s wash bag, mean that I am no longer desirable to the opposite sex, namely my husband.  Who for the record tells me I’m beautiful even if he does refer to two parts of my anatomy with the fondly given name "Udders of doom".

We pregnant folk can’t bend down without looking like we are about to squat to go for a ... And half the time we think twice about if we really need to pick the item we dropped up... I can live without that pound can't I?!!

We haven’t slept for months. Mostly due to peeing all night and partly due to not getting comfy. Turn to the left, turn to the right... Cha cha real smooth... Reverse reverse...Cha cha again! And waking one's self up snoring like a hippo!

We could cry of boredom every time we have to pee. I would quite happily have a catheter fitted just to get me through the next 6 weeks. I mean where does it all come from? Apparently it’s due to us having more blood circulating which makes our kidneys produce up tp 25% more urine (even though it feels like way more than that!). And the added pressure on bladder also adds to t he number of toilet trips. Sometimes I look like a Seal waddling to the sea -I could probably fill the Sea each night ;-)

And then there is your daily dose of Heartburn. Ouch. I’m getting through a pint of milk a day. Gaviscon is suppose to be good but I don’t fancy that as much but because I love milk so much, a glass of ice cold milk is a treat at the same time as a remedy. Apparently heartburn means the baby will have lots of hair... I will let you know if that Old Wives tale comes true...

I can’t fit any of my pre-pregnancy shoes on... I’ve gone up two sizes and even they are snug! My friend told me that your feet won’t go back after baby is born either as ligaments stretch so my new shoes could be "Boaty McBoat size". I’ll miss my converse. I already miss them as they haven’t fitted for months...Maybe I will buy baby some just to get my fix!

I can get in the bath,  but can I get out? I should be so lucky, with my rubber ducky. Going back to my earlier point, I can't get down there and I like to clean the bath before and after use so can I even have a bath?... Maybe not... a shower will do... what about a shower stool? I must admit I have googled them but they are quite expensive!!

As you can tell,  now the end is near, EVERYTHING is becoming an effort. Even relaxing isn't comfy. Am I squashing the baby, I can't breathe! Are my feet elevated enough?  Am I too hot, is it too cold?... Am I swelling in my hands and feet due to the heat or is it something more sinister? My feet do resemble Monster Munch crisps and the other day I said my feet look like buildings they are that big. This did make my colleagues chuckle!

On a serious note though, severe swelling can be a sign of Pre-eclampsia. See here for info so you can tell the difference between severe Oedema and Pre-eclampsia.



Always mention anything abnormal for you to your midwife.

Feeling tired coupled with the overwhelming feeling of responsibility to keep you and baby safe and well can make you feel a bit emotional but that's ok. Talk to your friends and family and I bet you'll hear some funny stories of how they felt when they were carrying this amazing miracle inside of them. Sometimes you could cry just because you are so happy!

On the way to work the other day I turned radio on to Classic FM and had Nessun Dorma belting out. I cried all the way to work.  Partly because it's so beautiful but also because my Mum loves classical Music and I realised I am going to be a Mum and I am quite probably going to subject my teenage son or daughter to car journeys with Mozart and Beethoven blaring out  just like my Mum did to me. When I googled the lyrics of Nessun Dorma and translated them into English it turns out Nessun Dorma means 'No-one shall sleep'. What a coincidence after approx 3 hours sleep prior to that car journey and a reminder of things to come :-)

I finish work next week for maternity and my new motto is going to be:


We are really looking forward to meeting baby and for the record, I think I have got off lightly with my symptoms but I'd go through all of the above to infinity and beyond in order to create our little human bean.

Have you got any funny stories about pregnancy niggles that made you cry but that were all worth it now your little miracle is here?

Speak soon...

Lots of love from me and Bubsy Boo - it's my Dad's nickname for bump xx

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